Author to Character, Scene I
Well, hello there, my precious. Soooo nice to meet you. Come, let me get to know you and you can live in my pocket a while. (Hours/days later) *Bleep*, where did you go now? Now I have to go (grumble grumble) backtrack and do character interviews and revise twenty scenes, not to mention the interaction and dialogue with fifty other characters. (Bangs head against craggy rock.)
Character to Author, Scene II
(Filing nails.) I have been waiting and waiting for you. Why am I still naked? Can you puh-leeeease figure out what I am supposed to wear now? I don’t think my dingy pants from the last scene works for me here, you know? (Tilts head and gives “the look.”) Why did I have to get stuck with this one, anyway? Sheesh, Gucci or even Ralph Lauren would have me dressed to the nines by now. Get it together, you! (Taps foot angrily.)
Author to Character, Scene III
You (curse curse curse) WILL do as I ask here. What do you mean you wouldn’t do that? Who is running the show here, anyway? Get back to your place, I mean it. No, you won’t have all the glory if you do that. Are we good? Ok, roll ‘em. No, no, your cue was back there. Oh, I guess you have a point that it’s hard to do a head kick when you were lying down first. Ok, yes, insert getting up from the floor first. Hey, did you just roll your eyes at me?
Character to Author, Scene IV
Dude, I know you want to take your time and everything, but could we please get to the good stuff now? Backstory is cool and all, but I would really like to kick butt or make out or save the world or something. See, the reader thinks so too. You think you’re so cool trying to guide us through everything, manipulating the reader’s feelings, opening my wounds for their pleasure. What kind of sicko are you? Seriously, you are going to do WHAT to me now? Masochist.
Author to Character, Final (for now) Scene, Scene V
(Crawling on hands and knees.) Ok, ok, YOU WIN! I give up! I will say it. I do not have control. (Whimpering.) Do I have to say it louder? Hmph. I do NOT HAVE CONTROL. Satisfied? Yes, you can take the wheel now. I don’t really know how that happens exactly but it’s all yours. What is that you said? Now your girlfriend wants a turn? Oh HELL no! I am going to bed. (Collapses and falls asleep peacefully…until 4am…)
Story Spinner Web 